Kroger Karing --How to Help the Hungry in 8 Krazy Easy Steps

K is for Kroger. Kroger is for Free Friday Download. Free Friday Downloads are for folk with a Kroger Kard--I mean card. Here's how we do it.

1. Go to Kroger.com

2. Register your Kroger card (if you don't have one, seriously, what is wrong with you? Go to Kroger and get one...psh, Walmart Fart Face).

3. Log on to your Kroger account every Friday for your Free Friday Download. You can just load it to your Kroger card. You don't need an app--just a Kroger card and a computer.

4. Go to Kroger.

5. Check out the free item with your Kroger card and get it for free.

6. Hold onto it until I can pick it up for you.

7. At the end of the month, I donate it to the Food Bank on a Monday which is next to Grandscrew's elderly group.

8. Tell other people so we can collect more items. Share this blog, share with your church, family, coworkers, etc.

These Are a Screw of my Favorite Things: Virginia Pot

None of you actually thought I was talking about weed if you're really honest with yourselves. Everyone knows I prefer pills and scotch.

Here are a Screw of my favorite pottery items from across the Commonwealth. I like to touch them and look at them and eat off of them and spin them on sticks and buy matching sets and send random invites to their creators and ask if they'll let me throw clay or talk to them or knock on their windows and smile all toothy or possibly take a selfie with them while holding their wares. No one has answered my emails. One day...

David Norton Pottery

Want these for ma chili

So I cans noms noms like dis

THIS LOOKS NEAT AND FOREIGN

I want to keep things warm in it.

Oxide Pottery

I'm not going to link this business because I kind of hate them but not in a mean way. Their stuff reminds me of all my favorite bands you've never heard of like Swear and Shake and The Mountain Goats. You probably do listen to those bands and you know I'm just a middle aged fat person who doesn't really own anything way expensive and hip like a fancy dog or a Pabst Blue ribbon beer can.

But whatever on this folk because they stole my mug idea.

This shit is seriously expensive. I'm the kind of person who would talk about how ridiculous it is to buy a plate for $170 and then I would want to meet the person who bought one and also buy one myself and I'd invite people over and climb the walls until someone asked me where I bought it. But not the $170 one. That really is seriously ridiculous. I wouldn't buy a plate for $170 if Bono made it with his ass cheeks.

Emerson Creek

This place makes brie bakers and cookie presses. I've got one and you can have it. I spent an hour in their Bedford store last summer. They have local collections like Peaks of Otter and Smith Mountain Lake. I want a whole entire room-shrine of Emerson Creek. If they had a Def Leppard collections I'd lose my shit. 

Irish Soda Bread Cookies

Directions

Set a rack in the middle level of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees.

In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, soda and salt and stir well to mix.

Add the butter and rub in until the butter disappears into the dry ingredients.

Stir in the caraway seeds if used and the raisins.

In a small bowl, whisk the buttermilk and egg together and mix into the dough mixture with a rubber spatula.

Turn the dough out on a floured work surface and fold it over on itself several times, shaping it into a round loaf. Transfer the loaf to one cookie sheet or jelly roll pan covered with parchment or foil and cut a cross in the top. Bake for 15 minutes then reduce heat to 350 and cook for about 15 to 20 minutes more, until well colored and a toothpick plunged into the center emerges clean.

Cool the soda bread on a rack and serve with plenty of sweet butter and bitter orange marmalade.