Monday, March 19, 2012

Blessed are the Poot

It's never a bad idea to be around children unless you're a witch with an edible bungalow.

Today Screw Lucy's Nuts and Bolts Children's Service ventured to see "The Lorax." Then, in the spirit of our tree theme, spent time among the willows and oaks at Lynchburg City Cemetery's aboretum. This is what I learned:

1. If you wear a green wig to Regal Cinemas, some old guy behind you will whistle a circus tune and then when you turn around, pretend not to have done it.

2. Children are just as fascinated with the projector itself as with the movie.

3. Some kids feel misunderstood too. And they like it.

4. Pulling up "lettuces" or cauliflower plants that have overgrown and look a lot LIKE lettuces are fun to pull up. Some children will even brag that they are outstanding "puller uppers."

5. "Blessed are the poot, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

6. If you want to take a handful of mints from a stranger's house, it's best to say your sister wants them then put a big handful in your pocket when no one is looking.

7. Flip flops are not the best footwear for a long walk.

8. Dung beetles are bugs that eat poop. Poop beetles would be a better name, but the best name of all would be dumb beetles because, after all, it's really dumb to eat poop.

9. Trying to find a grave of someone who died on your birthday isn't morbid or creepy. It's creative.

10. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

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