Wednesday, January 4, 2012

There's no Clever Title Here, It's Just Really Cock-a-doody Cold

My friends in L.A. may make fun of me, but I was forced to sleep on the heating pad last night yet again due to the fact that it's cold as a witch' cream cone in my room, despite the heater blasting at full force and, although I am suffering with what feels like frost bite, I can't help myself: I have to be helpful to my audience and make suggestions about what YOU can do to keep warm.

1. Get some insulation.

Nelligan insulation has served the local area for over 10 years. I know, I dated one of their employees. I wouldn't recommend snuggling up with one of their dedicated workers after a fiber glass job, but their products help keep your bills down--if you can afford the initial job.

2. Buy a scarf.

You can buy authentic Prada scarves at CoCo's Jewelry and Gift Boutique Downtown Lynchburg. Once I make an investment in a scarf (I technically don't have one--can you believe that?) this is where I'll be going. Then I'll proceed to turn to strangers everywhere I go to say,"Hey this is a Prada scarf. That's right--PRADA. I'm designer."

3. Find a hot tub, a hot spring, or some hot source of water.

Honestly the first thing I think of here is the old Howard Johnson's motel out in Madison Heights because they have hot tubs in the room, but I'm not sure if that's true any more. It's been a long time since I've been there (don't judge me). However, the Jamerson's YMCA has a co-ed hot tub and pool. I do not recommend trying the hot tub at the Downtown YMCA although I prefer to utilize their other facilities. You may be eating breakfast, so I won't talk about my experience with the whirlpool of doom.

4. Get some coffee.

I prefer Joe Beans, if not for anything else, because I don't have to get out of the car.

5. Go get a sundae.

That's right. Perhaps hot fudge at the Sundae Grill. I read somewhere once (I'm almost certain it was in one of the Bathroom Readers) that hot fudge sundaes will warm you up more than hot chocolate because they have more calories. I'll support that theory. You may want to add wet walnuts just to be sure.

1 comment:

  1. I still want to hear the whirlpool story one day if for nothing else then how you write it out. Love your style of writing.