Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 10th

It's easy to cut out breakfast when you sleep 'til noon.

Anyhow.

For lunch I relied on a staple I've been having--canned tuna with a tablespoon of ranch, a bit of garlic, and a cheese slice. Then I had some of my cheese cake treat.

I was pretty proud of my dinner. I went to Pizza Hut (where I have connections) and fixed a minimal lettuce, extra cucumber salad with a Diet Pepsi.

Erik has been talking about how using an exercise ball increases good posture and burns more calories.



On a wind down walk we visited the new cafe in town Trade Winds Cafe and picked up a menu.

There would be carbs in my future this week...

Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 9th

Mother's Day. Cheers to celebrating another year of being childless. I'm serious about that--I don't want them right now. I'm content to admire other people's kids. For now I only have the stretch marks induced by a rushed puberty and gaining weight.

Which is the introduction into this blog. Good for me.

Mother's Day started off great although I think I was still asleep while at the breakfast table. Erik's dad made breakfast for everyone (Erik has a family I will be happy to marry into) which included eggs with vegetables mixed in and bacon. I was good--I passed on the homemade raspberry jam and biscuits.

I wasn't TOO worried about lunch which would be grilled on the BBQ. I don't know about anyone else, but those little red weenies are the best (as long as you don't tell me what's in them). I have a cheeseburger with onion and lettuce on a grilled mushroom bun. As long as you like mushrooms, it's a great sub!



(Thanks to Goodhousekeeping.com for the image)

I also had the hot dogs without a bun dipped in sour cream and chopped onions (SOUNDS gross but actually pretty darn awesome).

For exercise, Erik and I walked down one of the up-and-down roads in Gretna. My shins are still hurting. Because of the exercise I didn't mind treating myself to strawberry shortcake and I found out that Cool Whip Sugar Free only has 1 carb per 2 tablespoons! That's going to be great with my Mock Cheesecake recipe!

I don't recommend this, but when I got home I couldn't resist weighing myself.

I've lost 9 pounds. I'm at 175.

Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 8th

Saturday started off strong with a 9:00 breakfast. I'm confident that I made the best scrambled eggs I've ever made and some extra crispy side of bacon (in the past, I've written sex blogs about crispy bacon...although it's more than likely not anything like you're thinking...).

It was yard sale day, so I enjoyed a Diet Coke while selling various wares. Have you noticed that the first things you sell are the things you thought would NEVER sell?

After the sale I had a late lunch at Domino's. Thinking I was doing a good, low carb thing, I ordered their chicken kickers. While the kickers taste great, they are NOT low in carbs because they are breaded. Just FYI.

Later on I was elated to go to Aylors, a local Farm and Garden shop.

I've always liked Aylors, because they carry local goat cheese from Night Sky Farm, hot dogs from Moores Famous Hot Dogs, and other random local wares and fresh baked delights.

This time I was floored to learn they carry Vosges chocolate--my FAVORITE chocolate of all time. I about had a cow or, sticking with the theme, a goat or hot dog related animal.

I bought both flavors (Goji Bar and Black Pearl Bar) then continued to buy mom a Mother's Day gift package which I, of course, made myself.

I decided on a yellow garden theme. I bought a bright yellow watering pot, a couple packets of yellow flower seeds, a specialty bag of potato and apple chips and lemon soda. I found the PERFECT card with a picture on it that looked just like my dog. They have great cards.

I bought a loaf of fresh made bread from our local market too. It was "sun" dried tomato bread (get it? the sun is yellow...).

Unfortunately I could not leave without having a Moore's hot dog which I did have on the bun with the works. This chili is so hot it burns your lips.

Later on we drove an hour away to Erik's parent's house. I had a few squares of chocolate there. It's not so bad you know. Only 15 grams of carbs which isn't horrible.

For exercise I figured I had been up all day working the yard sale and hauling stuff away.

What I do know is that I am exhausted...

Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 7 (GIVEAWAY)

I spent a great majority of my time writing Friday (from what I can remember).

I've made some discoveries concerning what you can eat on a low carb diet that actually tastes good.

Writing the Ben and Jerry's review would have been torturous had it not been for the fact that I've discovered a dessert to curb my cravings that is NOT too shabby at all.

1/2 cup ricotta cheese--full fat

1-2 tbl of vanilla flavoring

1 packet Splenda

1 square graham cracker

What you have when you mix this all together is a cheesecake taste-alike that is low in both carbs and fat. It tastes good and you can sub the vanilla for any similar flavoring like lemon, almond, or coconut etc.



(thanks to walmart.com for the image)

There is also something to be said for the Atkins Diet (which is low carb but not low fat) in that you can still eat Mexican food. I am doing a semi-South Beach/semi-Atkins in that I am really trying to do low carb while concentrating the MOST on getting exercise.

Friday night I had an order of shrimp from La Carreta with cheese dip and a Miller Lite brat from the fridge.

Later on, I watched Sister Act (I love that movie) with Erik and lifted weights. I am really proud that even if I am not doing a 5K run every day, doing SOMETHING is better than NOTHING.

Right now--I think because of doing push-ups--my wrists hurt so I have gone light on the weights, but I have still managed to do them!

I would really like others to try this recipe for "Low Carb Mock Cheesecake." To show my support of the low carb diet I would like to give a set of three McCormick's flavorings to one lucky reader.

To enter, leave a comment including your email address if you aren't a blogger, telling me what McCormick flavor you would enjoy trying in this recipe.

You can find a link to their flavors here:

http://www.mccormick.com/MCC/Search/SearchResults.aspx

For extra entries you can do any of the following and let me know you've done it by leaving a comment. People who are already subscribers, followers, etc, still count.

1) Subscribe to this blog. You should find the subscribe link at the very top, left hand corner.

2) Subscribe to my journal at www.screwlucy.com

3) Friend me on facebook.com at Scrw Lucy

4) Add me on twitter at Screw Lucy and tweet about this giveaway, leaving a link back to your tweet. You can do this daily for more chances of winning.

5) Enter my Ben and Jerry's giveaway at www.screwlucy.com and leave me a link to the entry.

This giveaway ends May 31st at midnight. Hopefully you'll be well on your way to bikini weather by then as I hope I am!

Ben and Jerry's 2010 Flavors (GIVEAWAY)

When it comes to snacks, I prefer salty treats. When it comes to ice cream, I would rather buy one pint of Ben and Jerry's a month, than settle for any other brand once a week.

To be fair, Turkey Hill is to Ben and Jerry's what a mistress would be to my wife if I were both a man and an asshole.

This week I reminded myself that I just happen to know the queen of ice cream experts as well as her apprentice and minion (who masquerade as two Appomattox High School students otherwise).

On a completely unrelated note, this is just funny on so many levels:



(thanks to larryfire.wordpress.com)

Moving on.

Allow me to introduce our panel:

Robin G.

Robin has been an ice cream expert for mumpmumblehummblmuble years and swears by Cookies and Cream ice cream from Food Lion. Her hobbies include bike riding, cooking, baking, and talking to sexy men.


Zakk G.

Zach is an ice cream expert who started the great revolution to beg the ever so timely question: Mint Chocolate Chip--is it really as "green" as they say it is? In his spare time Zach enjoys texting, listening to music, and not smiling.



Barrett M.

Barrett hails from a time when chocolate and vanilla started to live in harmony. She is a no-nonsense ice cream lover who lobbies against the segregation of ice cream and it's non-dairy cohorts. She was responsible for the campaign that sealed the peace pact between nut and no-nut dessert lovers nationwide. She enjoys hanging out with friends, writing, and going into people's purses to steal their lip gloss.

Our competitors offered a great challenge. There were six new flavors involved, one of which was absent. As fate would have it, our photographer Erik, who is allergic to wheat, was pleased to introduce himself to the replacement for Dulce Delight, a flavor we could not find anywhere in town.

In honor of Celiac Awareness month, meet one of our finalists:



Meet the other contestants:



Our first course was Maple Blondie, a selection that I have to admit was one of my two favorites. If you've ever been to Applebees, you'll recognize that it would be hard to distinguish this flavor from the brownie their restaurants serve.

This is a limited edition ice cream, named after Olympic gold medalist Hannah Teter. I'm waiting for the brunette edition named after Picabo Street appropriately dubbed "Swirled Cup."

Our second course, Mud Pie, had Robin acting like a pig (get it, mud-pig...ok it was a stretch, I admit...). This flavor is a winner with adults, understanding it's a mix of chocolate and coffee liqueur ice creams swirled with a Chocolate Cookies. The teens took a neutral pass on this one.

The presumed underdog followed to win a surprising (almost) unanimous vote. Flourless chocolate cake is, alas, not only for the allergic at heart. The teens gave two thumbs up, Robin admitted it to be a second runner up to the Mud Pie, and Erik cried a bit, realizing his people--the allergy challenged--have finally received a nod from the big guns.

We took a break to cleanse our palates and plates alike then went full force into round two.

A strong competitor left us questioning whether completing the task at hand was necessary as Boston Cream Pie was introduced as competitor number four.This flavor was admittedly as fierce a facsimile to the true product as Maple Blondie showed itself to be, if not stronger.

And I confessed I would leave Erik for it.



Barrett scowled as we were finishing up number five. Peanut Brittle is definitely for the nut lover while not-so-much for those who are chewing impaired.

The final contestant holds the name I love the most; it's simple yet reminiscent of childhood, frosty glasses, and one of my favorite stand-up comedy shows "Kings of Comedy."

Milk and cookies, in my opinion, tastes like vanilla ice cream with cookie dough ice cream AND Oreo Cookie ice cream. No yawns here, only open mouths.

In the end there was discussion, consideration, and rumors of a wrestling match possibility in Robin's back yard.

The winners were (mostly) unanimously Boston Cream Pie and Flourless Chocolate Cake.

We all agreed--Boston Cream Pie is a new Ben and Jerry favorite, right up there with Phish Food and Cherry Garcia. It's a strong statement. It's an even stronger conclusion.

TO ENTER MY BEN AND JERRY'S GIVEAWAY, VISIT WWW.SCREWLUCY.COM!

The Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 5&6

I would personally like to thank the Mexicans for making it possible to keep up the weight loss on a low carb diet.

I feel that part of dieting is knowing yourself and knowing your limits. There is no way I would forgo Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo particularly. I knew this and made preparations the entire by eating well.

Tuna with a teaspoon of ranch, a hint of garlic, and cheese is really a quick and cheap make when you're trying to eat low fat low carb. That's what I had prior a May 5th dinner, along with another good save, turkey wrapped in cheddar cheese.

Diet soda is horrible for you, but it give you that caffeine and sugarish feel when you're feeling hungry and (if you're a former smoker) want a cigarette.

My fat was waiting for me at La Carreta Wednesday night but I have to say I was pretty good with my carb intake.

I ordered the pollo loco which is chicken with cheese (don't eat the rice and beans) a side order of lettuce and guacamole, and I always order a side of grilled mushrooms as well. The temptation for a low carber here is the chips, of which I had maybe 15 with salsa (also high in carbs). It was delicious although I have to say I don't the sexual harassment I have to endure in order to eat there (is this a problem in the majority of Mexican restaurants or is this family of Hispanics just inappropriate as hell?)

To make myself even prouder, when I got home with the kids I got on the Wii fit and did aerobics. Seriously, the hula hooping is no joke. I discovered I have lost another 2 pounds!



Thursday I had Mexican again for lunch (minus the mushrooms) without any chips.

Exercise came in the form of roller blading later that evening. I had found my old roller blades in the shed while preparing for my yard sale this weekend. I haven't roller bladed in probably 8 years.

Here's a clue: it's not like riding a bike...which consequently for me isn't like "riding a bike" either because I had to relearn a few years ago.

Roller blading is an awesome way to exercise and my friend Rebecca would agree since she is on our local Roller Derby team. However, I would recommend you actually know how first so you don't tumble out of the car in the midst of a group of twenty-something college students at your local bike trail or fall on your butt like I did yesterday.

I think it's a well known fact that the two most popular non-OFFICIAL ways to exercise are joining a Roller Derby team or being on Dancing With the Stars. I've known chics from both who have lost a ton of weight. After yesterday I'm seeking fame just so I have an excuse not to roller blade! Kidding...kidding...

We went to Pizza Hut (I have connections) and I had two salads and an order of hot wings with minimal ranch.



Later on Erik and I watched a movie while I did "scissors" (lay on your back, put your legs in the air and bring them together and back--it hurts.)

I had a mess up when I was still a bit hungry at home--I had a few chips from the lunch I had earlier and a bit of rice. It's not great, but it could have been worse!

Listen, I may not be the most incredible dieter ever but I am making steps and I am proud of myself.

Always feel free to comment about how you're own journey is going. My blog is a place you can be yourself and be honest without judgment!

The Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 4, 2010

So this morning, it was still early enough to grab Subway and if you know me, you know I had a coupon. I decided to try the breakfast.

For some reason, I had a hard time finding the appropriate carb count on one of those black forest ham english muffins they carry the night before. Regardless, I bought one with a coupon for free coffee.

I asked for a wheat muffin with white egg (there are two choices, pre-cooked white egg and pre-cooked yellow egg), pepper jack cheese, and that's it.

Honestly, it wasn't all that good, and I picked up 40 carbs (I gave half the top bun to Lilly).

However I will say, the coffee is MUCH better at Subway than it is at McDonalds. Their coffee of choice is Seattle's Best, the same coffee served at select Kroger stores (we JUST got one here--the FIRST in Kroger's mid-Atlantic region!) and I was very pleasantly surprise at it's robust flavor. I will NEVER do McDonald's hot coffee again!



By 11 p.m. I was proud of myself for eating half of the salad I had ordered from Pizza Hut the night before--and I ate it with NO dressing!

Lilly (my rat terrier) and I then took a mile walk on our local trail. We went off the path a bit to sit by the creek. That's probably where she picked up her tick. I saw a man with two canes walking and thought to myself,"If HE can do it..."

By 4 p.m. I knew I was hungry but a planned dinner with friends was near. I wrapped turkey in a square of cheddar cheese for a low carb snack before heading to my friend's house at 6.

I also picked up 6 pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream for our 2010 flavor test...

Having steak was a GREAT opportunity to try Lawry's Mesquite marinade with Lime Juice that I picked up at Kroger for $0.50 last week. We also brought along a great Hawaiin rub from McCormicks we got for free at Kroger last week. The two together were impressive. I have to say, Lawry's lime rub is something I would buy again--it had just the right amount of limey tang.



During the Ben and Jerry's taste test I had about a table spoon each of each flavor. Each cup had an average of 14 grams of fat and around 45 carbs. But if you read my review and could understand how tasty the Boston Cream Pie is, you would be proud of my restraint.



The real problem (to me) was that I had too many of my friend Robin's mashed potatoes. I had two helpings and then, when I got home, had another plate. Mashed potatoes are one of my favorite foods and needless to say, hers are so good.

So all in all, I did pretty well during the first half of the day. I know I had too many fat grams and carbs to keep track. All in all my meal cost was as follows:

$9.75--ice cream

$0.50--marinade

$2.50--breakfast

Because I think you should go try an item off Subway's breakfast menu for yourself (not to mention the coffee) you can win a nifty $5 gift card by entering my giveaway.



Just leave a comment on this post telling me which breakfast sandwich you'd like to try and what you would get on it.

For extra entries you can do any of the following:


1)Become a subscriber on www.screwlucy.com. Leave me a comment letting me know.


2)Follow me on Twitter at ScrewLucy. Leave a comment letting me know you did this plus your twitter name.

3)Tweet about this giveaway by clicking "share" at the top of the blog. Leave a comment with the tweet status URL.You may do this once per day. Be sure to leave a comment for each tweet.

4)"LIKE" me on facebook.com at Scrw Lucy. Leave a comment with your facebook name.


This giveaway will end May 14th, 2010 at 2 p.m. Good luck!

No one pays me, compensates me, gives me advice, or acknowledges my existance for these reviews.

The Diary of an Angry Fat Woman May 3, 2010

I'm not your typical fat. I'm your tall fat. I'm your tall fat who used to be a tall skinny who thought she was a tall fat. Have you ever held up your pants from your early twenties and say out loud,"My god, how did I EVER fit into those things!?"



Tall. Fat. Old...sigh.

All joking aside, (not really) I don't identify with the women I see on t.v. I never have really. I am comfortable with my size, which happens to be a 14. I am 5'9 and I weigh 185 and I've never had a problem telling anyone about it. I've always been pretty, although I've had low self esteem the majority of my life. I've been through a number of boys--some men--who have insulted me regardless of how attractive OR thin I've been and in the last 5 years, and through God's grace, I've just developed of love for self. Myself. The magazine is ok too.



None-the-less (pun intended) I would like to lose weight. I am guessing that I have high cholesterol, I am not in shape, and (this is so completely shallow) I would like to be able to fit into any number of clothing and look good, which is kind of the real reason I want to lose weight.

So I am blogging about it.

What I've decided to do is talk about my eating highs and lows, my triumphs and failures. I am not on Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, or anything else that involved spending money. No pills. Just diet and exercise the former being a South Beachish kind of deal an the latter being any number of things from biking to Wii Fit.

Here's my plan:

Saturday and Sunday will be off days, meaning I will not "total" my count of carbs etc, but I will still remain mindful. I will also try to get out and DO something but not a regimen per say.

Monday-Friday I will attempt low fat, low carb eating habits and calculate them, while doing exercise daily that makes me sweat and my heart beat fast.

At the same time, I will attempt a calculation of cost. Oh yes. Watch me.

So, if you're ready,here is the run down on this week so far:

Sunday--Biked the Black Water Creek Trail 11 miles. Butt hurts, arms are feeling it.

Started off strong at Ronald Scruggs benefit by having curry chicken skewers, and what amounted to about 3 heaping table spoons of rice and pico do gallo.

Robin can be blamed for the half a chicken ranch wrap I had since she refused to finish it and attempted to donate it to the nearest Tommy Lee look-alike. You can't give stuff like that AWAY.

One beer. A Bud Lite. I still had money left and we were gonna be there a while.

A kielbasa.

Couldn't resist a generous portion of organic vanilla yogurt, walnuts, and honey. It was Sunday and it reminded me of Bible people. Erik said it was good for me and I chose to believe him.

Then the kids stressed me out and I had 3 tacos with sour cream. On the flip side it was so hot in the house that I think I sweated most of it out.


TODAY:

Because of the prior night of non-air conditioner induced, menopause-like heat flashed I went straight to bed when I returned home, so skipped breakfast.

Had coffee with 2 tbl of non-dairy creamer at Erik's with Splenda. Got to love Splenda. Sugar is 5 carbs a table spoon.

Settled on tuna with a table spoon of ranch, a hint of garlic, and a bowl of the discount soup I got at Kroger for a late lunch at 4 p.m.

Arrived at kid's house. Got on Wii Fit to discover I had lost 2 pounds since last time (more than a month ago). Made new goal--7 pounds in 2 weeks. Did aerobics, strength training and hula hooping until I was sweating and breathing hard.

Had a serving of sugar free gelatin.

Went to Amanda's house and made chicken wing inquiry.

Had chicken wings, saved the salad for tomorrow.


TOTAL CARBS=34

TOTAL FAT=75


What I learned:

Having a plan before time is helpful. The soup was 22 grams of fat and carbs but I was hungry and didn't have much else as an option.

Being informed about what you're eating is KEY. I checked the hot wings for carb and fat information, assuming that a little bit of blue cheese wouldn't be that much over the top. WRONG. One 1.5 serving of blue cheese from Pizza Hut is 24 grams of fat. That's INSANE!

Breakfast is so hard for me on a low carb diet--no breads and you tire of eggs. Any suggestions?

The total cost of what I had today:

soup=$0.75

tuna=$0.85

wings and salad=$12.50


Tomorrow's plan:

I know I have a salad. Should I check out Subway's breakfast? It's a good thing I have 4 faithful friends to help with the Ben and Jerry's "Which New Flavor is Best?" blog!

Go Green, Save Green at CVS

This week at CVS I picked up a Green Bag Tag. These tags cost $0.99 and earn you $1 ECB every 4th visit when you attach them to your reusable bag.

Just another retail store to get on the green bus, but personally, I think this one is way more fun than some of the others!

Kroger Diary, April 29 2010

Dear Kroger,

I really love your 10 for 10 deals. This week you really added a lot of spice to my life.

We've come to that point in our relationship where we've started thinking more seriously about using condiments. You made it totally worth my while this week when you put your 2 oz Tabasco sauce on sale 10 for $10. I used a coupon from the Tabasco web site and because of your double coupons, got three bottles of Tabasco for free!



While I was in your Timberlake store (I noticed the selection was better than Linkorne and Wards Rd where condiments are concerned!) I would have settled for the Tabasco had it not been for the McCormick Grill Mates marinade on the next isle. I saved a coupon for $0.50 off a McCormick marinade and because you had it 10 for $10, I was able to get another item for free.



Speaking of marinades, Lawry Marinades offered more than several varieties. I had a hard time picking one but I finally picked one up and with my coupon I was able to take it home for only $0.49!

Oh and thanks for the soup! In your deli, there are always such great manager's specials on things like breads, cakes, cheeses, soups, and more. I love cheesy broccoli soup and I walked away with a cup for $0.75.

Kroger, I can't wait until the next time I see you. Until next time...

Your Spicy Girl,

Screw Lucy

Kroger Diary April 25, 2010

April 25th, 2010--


Dear Kroger, today I treated myself to a Shamrock 2% Reduced Fat Flavored Mmmmilks at your Boonesboro Road location. They were selling for $1.39, I had a $0.50 off coupon that the lovely young lady at the register doubled (even though it read "DO NOT DOUBLE") so with tax, I paid $0.41 for it. I chose vanilla. It tasted like a melted soft serve ice cream cone without the thick and sticky consistency.



I was still thirsty so I went to your new 221 location which is kind of like going to Disney World for poor people like myself. I wasn't in the oh-so-cold flower and cheese department long at all before what did my eyes behold but METROMINT bottled water! I had been on their website a few days prior and the closest location to purchase their product was Danville, so imagine how surprised I was to pick up their orange mint and spearmint.



They were buy-one-get-one-free and I had a buy-one-get-one-free coupon, so I was able to get both for only $0.56! How refreshing!
I finally showed up at the Timberlake road location and out-did myself in the deli section when I found that you had Hilshire Farm kilbasa on sale, 2 for $5. I had 2 coupons for $1 off 2, we we picked up 4 for $8! This will be so great for my South Beach diet!



What's the end to a perfect Kroger day without dessert!
With your buy-one-get-one-free deal on Hershey's dark chocolate and my coupon for buy-one-get-one-free, my boyfriend and I were two happy campers, enjoying 2 candy bars for only $0.29 each!

You have taught me to share my love with others, dearest Kroger...there is enough of your generosity to go around...alas!

Yours Truly,

Screw Lucy