Dear Kroger, today I treated myself to a Shamrock 2% Reduced Fat Flavored Mmmmilks at your Boonesboro Road location. They were selling for $1.39, I had a $0.50 off coupon that the lovely young lady at the register doubled (even though it read "DO NOT DOUBLE") so with tax, I paid $0.41 for it. I chose vanilla. It tasted like a melted soft serve ice cream cone without the thick and sticky consistency.
I was still thirsty so I went to your new 221 location which is kind of like going to Disney World for poor people like myself. I wasn't in the oh-so-cold flower and cheese department long at all before what did my eyes behold but METROMINT bottled water! I had been on their website a few days prior and the closest location to purchase their product was Danville, so imagine how surprised I was to pick up their orange mint and spearmint.
They were buy-one-get-one-free and I had a buy-one-get-one-free coupon, so I was able to get both for only $0.56! How refreshing!
I finally showed up at the Timberlake road location and out-did myself in the deli section when I found that you had Hilshire Farm kilbasa on sale, 2 for $5. I had 2 coupons for $1 off 2, we we picked up 4 for $8! This will be so great for my South Beach diet!
What's the end to a perfect Kroger day without dessert!
With your buy-one-get-one-free deal on Hershey's dark chocolate and my coupon for buy-one-get-one-free, my boyfriend and I were two happy campers, enjoying 2 candy bars for only $0.29 each!
You have taught me to share my love with others, dearest Kroger...there is enough of your generosity to go around...alas!
Yours Truly,
Screw Lucy
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