To be fair, Turkey Hill is to Ben and Jerry's what a mistress would be to my wife if I were both a man and an asshole.
This week I reminded myself that I just happen to know the queen of ice cream experts as well as her apprentice and minion (who masquerade as two Appomattox High School students otherwise).
On a completely unrelated note, this is just funny on so many levels:
(thanks to larryfire.wordpress.com)
Moving on.
Allow me to introduce our panel:
Robin G.
Robin has been an ice cream expert for mumpmumblehummblmuble years and swears by Cookies and Cream ice cream from Food Lion. Her hobbies include bike riding, cooking, baking, and talking to sexy men.
Zakk G.
Zach is an ice cream expert who started the great revolution to beg the ever so timely question: Mint Chocolate Chip--is it really as "green" as they say it is? In his spare time Zach enjoys texting, listening to music, and not smiling.
Barrett M.
Barrett hails from a time when chocolate and vanilla started to live in harmony. She is a no-nonsense ice cream lover who lobbies against the segregation of ice cream and it's non-dairy cohorts. She was responsible for the campaign that sealed the peace pact between nut and no-nut dessert lovers nationwide. She enjoys hanging out with friends, writing, and going into people's purses to steal their lip gloss.
Our competitors offered a great challenge. There were six new flavors involved, one of which was absent. As fate would have it, our photographer Erik, who is allergic to wheat, was pleased to introduce himself to the replacement for Dulce Delight, a flavor we could not find anywhere in town.
In honor of Celiac Awareness month, meet one of our finalists:
Meet the other contestants:
Our first course was Maple Blondie, a selection that I have to admit was one of my two favorites. If you've ever been to Applebees, you'll recognize that it would be hard to distinguish this flavor from the brownie their restaurants serve.
This is a limited edition ice cream, named after Olympic gold medalist Hannah Teter. I'm waiting for the brunette edition named after Picabo Street appropriately dubbed "Swirled Cup."
Our second course, Mud Pie, had Robin acting like a pig (get it, mud-pig...ok it was a stretch, I admit...). This flavor is a winner with adults, understanding it's a mix of chocolate and coffee liqueur ice creams swirled with a Chocolate Cookies. The teens took a neutral pass on this one.
The presumed underdog followed to win a surprising (almost) unanimous vote. Flourless chocolate cake is, alas, not only for the allergic at heart. The teens gave two thumbs up, Robin admitted it to be a second runner up to the Mud Pie, and Erik cried a bit, realizing his people--the allergy challenged--have finally received a nod from the big guns.
We took a break to cleanse our palates and plates alike then went full force into round two.
A strong competitor left us questioning whether completing the task at hand was necessary as Boston Cream Pie was introduced as competitor number four.This flavor was admittedly as fierce a facsimile to the true product as Maple Blondie showed itself to be, if not stronger.
And I confessed I would leave Erik for it.
Barrett scowled as we were finishing up number five. Peanut Brittle is definitely for the nut lover while not-so-much for those who are chewing impaired.
The final contestant holds the name I love the most; it's simple yet reminiscent of childhood, frosty glasses, and one of my favorite stand-up comedy shows "Kings of Comedy."
Milk and cookies, in my opinion, tastes like vanilla ice cream with cookie dough ice cream AND Oreo Cookie ice cream. No yawns here, only open mouths.
In the end there was discussion, consideration, and rumors of a wrestling match possibility in Robin's back yard.
The winners were (mostly) unanimously Boston Cream Pie and Flourless Chocolate Cake.
We all agreed--Boston Cream Pie is a new Ben and Jerry favorite, right up there with Phish Food and Cherry Garcia. It's a strong statement. It's an even stronger conclusion.
TO ENTER MY BEN AND JERRY'S GIVEAWAY, VISIT WWW.SCREWLUCY.COM!
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